You never forget it,that's bull.There is always a part of you that stops and looks over your shoulder on occasion.It changes everything,the whole dynamic of the relationship is changed forever.In my opinion those that make it simply learn to live with the new state of the relationship.What is the best advice you can share on SURVIVING infidelity? NOT accepting infidelity? It's a difference.?
You will never forget, so I'm sorry that you will have to live with that. But you will learn to have to re-trust him/her again. That takes A LOT of time and work. It's definitely not a process that can take a few weeks. Sometimes it may take a few months, some people may take a few years. Either way it will take a lot of patience so you can wait it out and build up that trust. Learn to put it behind you though, don't bring it up and keep bringing it up. If you haven't made your piece with it yet with your partner then ask him/her to join you and talk with you about it. Get it out all in the open then talk it out, no yelling allowed (that's always a great rule) and tell them how you are feeling. You may get some feelings out of them that you never knew were happening, and from this conversation you never know, you may find out that maybe it is best to just seperate/divorce/break up. Try writing everything down, almost like a long letter, then read it to the person or have them read it..either way when both people are done reading eachother's letters, talk it out. Let one person talk for 5 minutes then let the other person talk for 5 minutes. This way both people feel that they are being heard fairly, keep going with this process until everyone has said their peace. If it happens again though, I would leave. You don't deserve that, plain and simple. But good luck to you with your relationship, I hope it all works out for the best :-)
Communication and time. It will take both to rebuild the trust.
You both have to be willing to put forth the effort needed to repair the relationship. That means being able to accept that the past is in the past and there's nothing you can do that will change that fact, so the only thing to do is move forward instead of look back.
That's hard. But it can be done. You have to be able to talk to each other when something is bothering you, and to be able to trust that you CAN talk to each other without it turning into a blame-fest or argument.
HE also has to be willing to change. If he's not, then there's nothing you can to do make him change. That's the hardest part to accept.
There is no way to just survive infidelity. You either have to decide that you can not accept it and end the relationship or you have to accept it, forgive, and forget. If you stay in the relationship and you can not fully forgive your partner it will eat away at you and in the end will ultimately ruin the relationship even more.
If you have chosen to leave his relationship, then be good to yourself. Surround yourself with caring family %26amp; friends who support you %26amp; your decision, who will listen without judging you, who will respect your choice to separate. Take good care of your health in all respects. Allow yourself to go through all aspects of the grief process - including missing him. Take up interests you have abandoned or not had time for, or create new ones. Keep yourself busy enough that you don't fall into a depression, but not so busy that you can't have a feeling of peace and rest in your life.
If you've chosen to remain in the relationship, expect your partner to prove remorsefulness - s/he must prove that the actions were regretful %26amp; that a change in action - not just heart - will take place. Don't rush into sex until you are ready. Don't hesitate to seek the help of a couples' counselor - psychologist, or religious advisor - to help you navigate your reconciliation. Delete the word ';divorce'; from your vocabulary if you are truly committed to staying in the relationship. And give it time - it will take time for things to be restored.
Well honestly to survive it YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT that it happened and be willing to put it behind you. A marriage cannot survive if you cannot accept what happened and throw it up all the time. Which means you can't expect them to ';prove remorse'; and beg forgiveness all the time as anonymous suggests. You have to accept it to get over it and rebuild the trust or there is no hope.
It ALL depends on if you're going to try to make a go of it nonetheless. It's NOT easy, but it CAN be done. You've basically got to put the past in the past, %26amp; just do your very best to overcome it. NO, you'll never forget it, but as time goes by, it w/just get further into your past %26amp; not be the utmost in your mind. The other spouse has to try their very best to prove themselves to you. Of course you HAVE TO forgive above all, %26amp; NOT bring it up %26amp; throw it in their faces when you just might have ';rocky'; times at any point in the future. You've got to make up your mind NOT to use it as a ';tool'; at any time in the future tho as that is only going to cause resentments. So basically, this is the ONE thing you're going to have to stick to %26amp; remember. Try to remember, ';the past is the past, but the future is still our own';, Yes, I too have walked in your shoes, so I too well know just what you are facing BUT it CAN be done if you make your minds up to do it %26amp; work on it. It's all up to tho. If counseling would be of help, certainly do try that route too. You have to decide just how important it honestly is to you...I DO wish you the very best...:)
You must learn to forgive and forget. The forgiving is the easy part. If you aren't able to forget, then divorce him. Every time he is late by 5 minutes from an errand you will think he is cheating. Think about it carefully. If this has happened before, it will happen again. Choose wisely because your future happiness depends on it.
Basically, it will come down to these options:
1) You two communicate. Forgive and forget.
2) You turn the other cheek
3) You leave him/her
If you have not already read ';The five love languages,'; go read it. It will help your marriage a thousand thousand times.
each case is different. if you elaborate, there might be a helpful answer to you question.
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